I selfishly want to get away from pain and grief and pretend it doesn't happen, it isn't happening. Climbing the stairs to my retreat, my place to get away from the world, I sit in my chair and look at scripture that gives me comfort, I cry out in prayer to the One who holds the world in His hands,
"How long o Lord?!"
"How long o Lord?!"
Then moving to my sewing machine I work on a project, it is inconsequential, yet it somehow soothes my troubled mind. My prayers continue for those who are hurting, those seeking to minister to the wounded of body and soul, the reality of knowing that some of those people died without knowing a Savior is unrelenting in my own spirit. My heart continues to weigh heavy, selfishly for my own children who have grown up in a world different than the one I experienced. The pictures that appear on the screen are not unfamiliar to them, they have grown up with those pictures. The people are different, the place is different but the scene itself has played out before their eyes far too many times before. My fear being it is their normal, there is no shock, no horror, only the reality of the world they know. "How long o Lord?!"
The realization that the fiery darts that were discussed only moments earlier in morning Bible study were merely discomforts in my very comfortable life. Distractions from the evil one to shift my focus from the important to the frivolous and I become embarrassed as to how easy a prey I am. "How long o Lord?!"
My thoughts then shift to this Sunday, Easter Sunday and hope wells up inside of me, hope of the One coming. Only minutes earlier my heart felt heavy and black, now feels bright with the hope of the future. How can this be you ask, how can you go from despair, from a heart of grieving to a spirit of anticipation, of celebration? Because sweet friend I got so caught up in the chapter of today, that I forgot, I have read the ending. There are lots of things that happen between now and the end, but the end is indeed glorious and guess what, He prevails! "How long o Lord"!
This post was written in response to the bombing in Belgium this week as well as a sermon in the series of Revelation. (Click here for access to the sermons.)